Providence by Carolynn Kingyens

You will marry a woman
so afraid of silence
she'll make small talk
with anyone who'll solicit —
telemarketers,
Jehovah Witnesses,
beggars,
with whom doesn’t matter.

You, on the other hand,
hate small talk,
and aren’t afraid
of silence.

But back then,
your differences
were an aphrodisiac.

You — aplomb
and cocksure.

She — the silly sexpot.

Those humid nights
in Providence,
where you'd go
stumbling around
in the dark,
running your clammy hands
over her thoroughbred thighs.

Back when her pleasure
was your pleasure,
promising a forever passion
like this.

Your voice,
full of future,
swirled with the ambient buzz
of the ceiling fan
as she'd lie naked
beside you,
under a pool
of sweaty sheets,
smoking a cigarette.

Her O-shaped mouth
made a series of smoke rings
in the dark.

No one tells you
a forever passion
is the grandest
of lies.

Or how there’s
a silence
more deafening
than a scream.



Carolynn Kingyens’ debut book of poetry, Before the Big Bang Makes a Sound (Kelsay Books), can be ordered through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Greenlight, Book Culture, Berl’s Brooklyn Poetry Shop and McNally Jackson. In addition to poetry, Carolynn writes narrative essays, book and film reviews, flash and short fiction. Her latest short story, "The Peggy Effect," can be read by clicking here. Carolynn resides in New York with her husband and two amazing daughters.