Long Division by Barbara Alfaro

          for Sheridan Smith

I never told the first man in my life I loved him.
I never thanked him for helping me with math.

He could do long division in his head.
I never said how impressive it was that he

graduated from high school at fifteen or sad
the money he’d saved for college paid for

his brother’s surgery. I doubt my grandmother,
an Irish immigrant, knew about scholarships.

I never thanked him for being the only one
who didn’t judge me when I left my husband.

Four or five years old and curled on his lap,
I played possum and pretended to be asleep

because I knew when my mother said, “Sherry,
put her to bed,” my father would always answer

“Not just yet, Irene, I don’t want to disturb her.”
I never told the first man in my life I loved him.



Barbara Alfaro is the recipient of a Maryland State Arts Council Individual Artist Award in Playwriting. Her memoir Mirror Talk won the IndieReader Discovery Award for Best Memoir. Barbara’s poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Poet Lore, Boston Literary Magazine, Trouvaille Review, Voices de la Luna, The Blue Mountain Review and Variant Literature. http://www.BarbaraAlfaro.net