Saturday, February 5, 2022

Regression at the Middle-Age Soiree by Carolynn Kingyens

You're surprised when
Blythe Monk,
your daughter's
soft-spoken preschool teacher
from years ago,
who always smells
of Chanel No.5,
pulls out a sandwich bag
full of neatly-wrapped joints
from her COACH purse.

For a brief moment,
you think she's holding
a bag full of Bang Snaps,
those white, twist-tie
wrapper explosives
you once threw
on the ground with glee
when you were a child,
decades ago.

You reach in and take two
Bang Snap-joints;
one for now,
one for later.

And you think —
This is middle-age
regression

while standing
in the midst
of middle-school parents
at the soiree,
where chardonnay
and sangria keep
flowing for hours.

Your thoughts ruminate:

My husband is sleeping
in the guest room; says
it's because of my snoring.


My daughter hates me.

I get side cramps
every time I bend over
to zip-up my favorite,
black suede boots.


I hate my life.

You can feel your defenses
fall as trees do —
loud and disastrous.

Next, you're flirting
with your widower neighbor
with the meticulous lawn —
the retired, tight-lipped
CIA agent, who jogs
every single day
at the crack of dawn,
no matter the weather.

His self-discipline shames
you.

His self-discipline shames
everyone at the party.

You drink sangria
until your mouth has a
port-wine stain mustache.

You twerk on the widower
with the nice lawn.

You twerk on the soft-spoken
Blythe Monk.

You twerk atop
the breakfast bar
until you fall down —
hard.



More than anything, Carolynn Kingyens writes to ultimately connect. She is the author of two poetry collections, Before the Big Bang Makes a Sound and the recently released Coupling, both published by Kelsay Books. In addition to poetry, she writes essays, book/film reviews, micro/flash fiction and short stories. Her short story "Bye Bye, Miss American Pie" was one of fifteen stories selected by Across the Margin, a Brooklyn arts & culture magazine, for their Best Fiction of 2021 list. Click here to read a book review for Coupling, written by the wonderful poet Sharon Waller Knutson.

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